“I had no idea I stopped laughing. I was always busy. It was avoidance.”
During her 30-year career as a civilian RCMP dispatcher, Janet Wiszowaty dealt with the internal wounds of post-traumatic stress disorder. Taking emergency calls, especially those involving children, made her feel helpless and had an impact on her mental and physical well-being.
In addition, the then Vancouver resident endured four vehicle accidents in 10 years. In two of them, she was at the steering wheel. In the other two, she was a passenger. Wiszowaty felt isolated but kept it together until one night, unable to sleep, the mask slipped off and she broke down and cried.
“The trauma to the body was accidental; the trauma to the brain was work," Wiszowaty said. "It just got worse when a young RCMP member I knew committed suicide. He had a bad call one night six months after he joined us. A father shot his two-year old son and then himself. He couldn’t rationalize why a father would do that."
The now-retired dispatcher living in Edmonton is part of The Power of Our Story, a first responders’ website that released a compilation of stories about their experiences.
Their book, Wounds to Wisdom, carries narratives about 29 first responders and protectors, including soldiers and veterans, who faced profound trauma. Each narrative speaks about internal wounds and scars, as well as personal courage and resilience. Wiszowaty story is titled When the Mask Cracked Everything Changed.
She hosts a book reading and book signing at The Bookstore on Perron on Saturday, Dec. 21 from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. Visitors are also encouraged to bring donations for the Veterans Association Food Bank.
“The book was written so people don’t suffer alone. And readers can see what maybe their partner, son, daughter, friend is going through and they can’t talk about it,” Wiszowaty said. “This isn’t to sell books. This is about understanding and healing. There is so much sadness when a partner doesn’t realize what their partner is going through.”
She was born in Winnipeg, but Wiszowaty’s family moved around the province to a new town every few years. Her father was a conservation officer and was posted in small towns with populations ranging from 250 to 500 people.
A year after she was married, her husband joined the RCMP. They were posted to three provinces: British Columbia, Ontario and Alberta.
While living in Vancouver in 1982, the RCMP hired Wiszowaty. The pressure to remain calm and get help to people took its toll. By 1991, she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and in August 2002, she was in a fourth vehicle collision that forced her off work for a year.
“When you have health issues, your body knows. It’s the first to recognize you are in trauma. In looking back, there were so many different incidents.”
A psychologist diagnosed her with PTSD. Through sessions, she discovered David Schwartz’s The Magic of Thinking, a self-help book that shifted her perspective. Currently, Wiszowaty is a life coach and author who operates Worldly ConneKtions.
“Wounds to Wisdom is about first responders' journeys and how they came out the other end," Wiszowaty said. "It’s not a death sentence. We don’t have to stay there. It took one person to change my life. If our stories can change one life, everything we’re going through is worth it.”