LAC LA BICHE - Understanding how to combat bullying and knowing how to address the issue was a challenging topic that was presented to Lac La Biche and area families last week at a Family and Community Support Services virtual workshop.
The 'Ins and Out of Bullying’ provided options for parents to look for, manage and find solutions when bullying becomes part of their children’s lives. The presentation coincided with ‘Pink Shirt Day’, a national anti-bullying awareness campaign, this year held on February 23. The virtual event was presented by registered psychologist Tammy Auten Dye to a group of two dozen parents and guardians who had registered.
Dye thanked the group for taking steps to find out more about the growing issue.
“I think information is power and we just want to get more information to parents as we possibly can have…we try and facilitate some conversation which actually went really great with the Lac La Biche group,” said Dye who live-streamed the presentation from her Ponoka-based practice.
The engagement session provided the group with an opportunity to learn what bullying behaviours look like, how to navigate resolutions and understand the social issues associated with bullying. But most of all, she emphasized, it was an opportunity to talk, ask questions and share experiences in a safe place for anyone who might be struggling or are wanting to prepare themselves for bullying incidents that their kids may go through, she said.
Educating parents
Dye presents a multitude of presentations around the province to educate communities on various topics affecting youth from anxiety, trauma, attachment disorders. She presents to school-age children, school staff, municipal officials and parent groups.
“Bullying is really prevalent, and we have to support our children. One thing the presentation talks about, that I think is important, is not just about how to support the victims of the bullies; it’s also how to support our child if they are the bully,” she told the attendees at the recent presentation.
Cyberbullying awareness
Throughout the presentation, Dye elaborated on the serious impacts of cyberbullying and how for many kids today bullying doesn't end at school; it follows them 24/7.
“When I was a kid—before cell phones— bullying ended when I left school for the day and I got a break. But bullying never ends now because it follows you home and follows you around on your devices, so there is never a break from that person,” said Dye.
Parent support
For Lac La Biche mom of three Danielle Cardinal, participating in the virtual event was an opportunity for her and her husband to be better prepared as their kids grow up.
“We just felt that in general bullying can leave such deep emotional scars for our kids. As they enter the pre-teen stage we wanted to learn how to support them so that they can navigate through potential bullying incidents,” she said, adding that the cyber-bullying aspects are somewhat new to her as well.
“I worry about cyberbullying and I have to admit I’ve been oblivious to the fact that I’m going to have to deal with that, and so are they,” said Cardinal who took part in the virtual session with her kids watching too.
An animated video discussing what cyberbullying looks like and how to address it helped her children understand when to speak up, which Cardinal appreciated.
"Just the fact that they got to observe that, they left knowing how to potentially handle cyberbullying,” she said.
Although her three children have never had to encounter any bullying situations, the growing statistics show that unfortunately, they will likely be exposed to it as they get older. Cardinal says she has to be prepared.
“Very truthfully, I know it’s going to happen,” she said. “This is why I wanted to sign up for this session is to have those tools to know how to cope and understand where bullying comes from.”
Understanding bullying
Although, finding pathways to address bullying is not easy, to provide safe spaces and know what kids are going through—whether they are being bullied ...or are the bully — is important, said Dye.
“It’s a shameful thing for families, especially if your child is the bully, we might feel full of shame, we might feel defensive as well. There is a multitude of feelings that can arise. It’s a tough topic but a really important one.”
Regardless of the situation, she says the root of the problem is that children are hurting, and the community of support around them needs to work together.
“If you know that your child is being bullied or is a bully, you need to be letting the school know or the community events that they’re a part of so that there are adults in all areas providing support, and having eyes and ears on the situation,” said Dye.
Most important for parents and guardians, said Dye, is to believe the child when they talk about bullying, and to act quickly. Part of that action, she admits, is to investigate whether it is a bullying situation or a misunderstanding.
“The word bullying gets thrown around a lot and sometimes it’s just somebody being unkind. There are certain criteria for it to be a bully versus somebody just being unkind to us. One of those criteria is that it’s persistent when it’s been asked to stop.”
Supporting families
Cardinal appreciated the session and enjoys the FCSS programming for families. She said that is part of the support system discussed in the bullying presentation that community members need.
“I rely on a lot of the programming that FCSS does. As a parent of a blended family, I’m very appreciative for a lot of these sessions that they do offer… it really helps,” she told Lakeland Today, adding that the sessions can re-enforce good parenting skills that may already be in the home, or offer suggestions to improve. “If you don’t have good dialogue with your kids it may not be easy for them to turn to you. I think if you continue having that open discussion with your kids, they trust you.”
The bullying session was part of a series of family-themed workshops hosted by the Lac La Biche County FCSS department.
