Charmaine Gray has distinct memories of growing up with her four brothers, especially when it comes to playing soccer – a sport that has been a passion for the Cote family for years.
One memory that stands out in her mind is when her brother Jerome was preschool aged. Two of his older brothers, Jocelyn and Claude, would often stick their four-year-old brother in net while playing soccer in the front yard, and after challenging their little brother, they would proceed to shoot at him as hard as they could. Charmaine admits it was kind of a brutal way for her little brother to learn the sport, but the result was an athlete who “learnt really quick to be fearless.”
Earlier this summer, at just 20 years old, Jerome passed away unexpectedly. After his death, it was discovered that the young athlete, who was still involved with the sport and had been coaching soccer in St. Paul, had advanced coronary artery disease, a rare diagnosis for someone so young.
Jerome’s death was a big and sudden shock to the family.
“We never knew anything was wrong,” says Charmaine. “We are such a close family and it’s like a big part of us is missing.”
Not long after his death, the St. Paul Soccer Association decided to recognize not only Jerome, but also the entire Cote family, for their long-time involvement with the association.
For the past three or four years, St. Paul Soccer has been handing out scholarships to past players who have returned to coach, while also attending post-secondary schooling. Up until this summer, the scholarship remained unnamed, but it has now been dubbed the Jerome Cote Scholarship.
“(Jerome) was one of our players growing up,” says Joy Tremblay, president of St. Paul Soccer. She adds that that Cote family as a whole has had significant contributions to soccer in St. Paul over the years.
When describing Jerome, Tremblay says she remembers a player with “so much heart, so much soul. He represented St. Paul Soccer so well.”
Jerome started playing soccer at the U4 level. He played as goalie and on the field, “but his true place was in net,” says his sister. “He would make these incredible saves and we would watch him, thinking ‘how the hell did he do that?’ When you looked at him, you would never have thought that he was as agile and graceful as he was, but you put him in that net and he would erase any doubt.”
After playing in St. Paul and Edmonton, Jerome returned to the soccer pitch as a coach, first helping his mom Lori coach a new generation of soccer players – Jerome’s nephews.
“And because he was such an amazing uncle who would do anything for his nieces and nephews, he was there every week helping out,” says Charmaine. “After he died, my brothers and I were sitting in his room, and when I looked around his room, it wasn't pictures of girls or cars on his walls, but pictures of his family - his nieces and nephews.”
And soccer truly was something the entire family shared. Even as adults, the Cote family would watch each other’s games. When Charmaine’s first son was born, his uncles were quick to grab their baby nephew even before he could walk, holding him by the arms while playing the sport.
Charmaine also remembers how her brother was always laughing.
“He just had this magnetic force that pulled people in. They loved being around him . . . He always had a way to make you feel good and happy, even if you were upset,” says Charmaine. “He would do anything for anybody, no matter what.”
While planning Jerome’s funeral, the family was asked if there were any charities they wanted to direct people to, for those who wanted to make donations in Jerome’s honour. The family decided to direct people to the soccer scholarship fund.
“When the soccer association said they we're thinking of renaming the scholarship, we just cried. We were so taken by the gesture. We love Jerome so much and our losing him has been really hard on our family . . . It was kind of like the soccer association was sharing in our loss and grief,” says Charmaine.
The Jerome Cote Scholarship has rather simple criteria, says Tremblay. Its purpose is to recognize and encourage past soccer players of the association to return home and help pass on the skills they learned, through coaching or taking part in special projects.
“We recognize that our program will get stronger and stronger when our former players come back and contribute to the program,” says Tremblay. She adds that much of the soccer program was started in St. Paul by parents who had little soccer playing experience, so drawing from the now-experienced players is a crucial way to help build on the program’s successes.
She points to her own daughter, Stephanie, as being an example of this. She’s an ACA All-Star and an Academic All Canadian – recognized both for her athletic ability and academic success. Stephanie, who has her degree in education, is now acting as the association’s technical director.
“I think that’s something to celebrate in St. Paul. We have players that have that ability . . . We want our kids to succeed,” says Tremblay.
As for the Cote family, despite the fact that they are still mourning the loss of someone who was a brother, son, and uncle, they are happy to see Jerome’s memory will continue to live on through the scholarship.
“We just want to thank the soccer association for thinking of us, and for sharing in our loss and our grief; and for allowing us to pass on the our love for Jerome through this, and for allowing Jerome to continue touching those around him.”
